BD: When Life Gets "Lumpy"
The Back Story....
For those of you who aren't as familiar with our story, this is our third battle with cancer between me and my husband, Preston. In fall of 2010, Preston found a lump. From the initial visit at the Free clinic to the big decision of surgery to the diagnosis of testicular cancer to the plan of action for treatment, our faith was definitely tested. During that time, we went from evaluating what we thought we believed to where we were really at in our faith to what God's word had to say about it and summed all that up into making several decisions in a matter of weeks. His diagnosis was serious, his cancer aggressive, and we were asked to make decisions faster than we knew how to process them. In that season, we went with surgery and followed our oncologist's advice for treatment through surveillance.
In summer of 2011, a routine ultrasound found the early signs of another lump forming. I happened to blog the day we received the news, and you can read that response here. By that fall, after all the tests and opinions we were faced with another big, and I mean BIG decision. The doctor wanted to biopsy his last "family jewel" and give him permission to make the decision in the surgery room to remove all of it if there was indeed cancer present. Preston's state assistance was running out, with little hope of renewal, and the doctor wanted to hurry up and get in while we were covered.
To be honest, it hit us hard. We had some real "human" moments in the days that followed, and it was hard to not ask God why we had to go through this again, why we had to make yet another decision that could have a big impact on our future. But in those days, we got to a place where we just said no. NO to the what if's. NO to worry. NO to fear. NO to the possibility of cancer. We chose to refuse ownership of the disease, and refuse ownership of any hold it had on our future, because God gave us His promise. So our confidence started to build and boldness started to rise, and when it came down to the last ultrasound before the decision for surgery was going to be made we had an expectation. And.....Preston's healing was manifested in the natural; the ultrasound came back with the report that whatever density that had formed was completely gone! Praise God!
Victory was ours! We just had to receive it. We had to get to that place where we knew we were being completely real and honest with each other and before God with what was going on inside of us whether it was doubt, fear, or even the burden of the circumstance. God wants us to come as we are, not try to come as we think we should be, or trying to measure up to the expectations of people or even what we think He expects of us. He's God. And in comparison, we're these tiny little people on this tiny little planet fighting what feels to us like big giants. The power of God happens when, as an imperfect person with imperfect circumstances, you allow God to be the difference for you. Trying to muster up whatever you think can come from you in your own ability or understanding to make God move in time doesn't really produce results. If you could do that, then you wouldn't really need faith to get you there.
**This blog was written in October 2012**
For those of you who aren't as familiar with our story, this is our third battle with cancer between me and my husband, Preston. In fall of 2010, Preston found a lump. From the initial visit at the Free clinic to the big decision of surgery to the diagnosis of testicular cancer to the plan of action for treatment, our faith was definitely tested. During that time, we went from evaluating what we thought we believed to where we were really at in our faith to what God's word had to say about it and summed all that up into making several decisions in a matter of weeks. His diagnosis was serious, his cancer aggressive, and we were asked to make decisions faster than we knew how to process them. In that season, we went with surgery and followed our oncologist's advice for treatment through surveillance.
In summer of 2011, a routine ultrasound found the early signs of another lump forming. I happened to blog the day we received the news, and you can read that response here. By that fall, after all the tests and opinions we were faced with another big, and I mean BIG decision. The doctor wanted to biopsy his last "family jewel" and give him permission to make the decision in the surgery room to remove all of it if there was indeed cancer present. Preston's state assistance was running out, with little hope of renewal, and the doctor wanted to hurry up and get in while we were covered.
To be honest, it hit us hard. We had some real "human" moments in the days that followed, and it was hard to not ask God why we had to go through this again, why we had to make yet another decision that could have a big impact on our future. But in those days, we got to a place where we just said no. NO to the what if's. NO to worry. NO to fear. NO to the possibility of cancer. We chose to refuse ownership of the disease, and refuse ownership of any hold it had on our future, because God gave us His promise. So our confidence started to build and boldness started to rise, and when it came down to the last ultrasound before the decision for surgery was going to be made we had an expectation. And.....Preston's healing was manifested in the natural; the ultrasound came back with the report that whatever density that had formed was completely gone! Praise God!
Victory was ours! We just had to receive it. We had to get to that place where we knew we were being completely real and honest with each other and before God with what was going on inside of us whether it was doubt, fear, or even the burden of the circumstance. God wants us to come as we are, not try to come as we think we should be, or trying to measure up to the expectations of people or even what we think He expects of us. He's God. And in comparison, we're these tiny little people on this tiny little planet fighting what feels to us like big giants. The power of God happens when, as an imperfect person with imperfect circumstances, you allow God to be the difference for you. Trying to muster up whatever you think can come from you in your own ability or understanding to make God move in time doesn't really produce results. If you could do that, then you wouldn't really need faith to get you there.
**This blog was written in October 2012**
