Facing the Inevitable
This week I've been working more. I'm a part-time nanny for a few different families that call me with work. I somehow manage to fit that into my schedule as director of the Kids Ministry at church, part-time student, starting up a small business, and life in general. Some weeks are easier than others. Typically, its easy, fun work, but when you throw in the families with heavy babies and a whole-lotta stairs, I start to feel it in my back. At least, I'd like to reason with myself that is the reason behind my back pain this week and not necessarily the time I spent at the gym last week.
Nevertheless, my chiropractor limited my exercise regimen to just yoga for now, to strengthen my core as I continue to drop the pounds. I had just seen him the week prior and he said I was a good inch and a half off. Sad news. For me, it was really discouraging in this process to lose weight, mostly because of my 30 by 30 goal. I got really depressed that I couldn't just do whatever I wanted to get where I want to go. I had to face the sad reality that I still need to reap the consequence of all my bad choices in the past, slowing my progress in the present. I let myself get here, and there's no easy out....in fact, there is no "out". Just the hard facts and a choice. A choice of where to go from here.
Part of me, the "old me," wanted to slump over and take on the big "I'm a failure" attitude and decide just to forget it all. If I can't have it my way when I want it then why bother? Thankfully, I stopped long enough to face the inevitable and be woman enough to own it. Yeah, this was my first real goal at changing my health for the better, but I'm not going to be able to reach it. So, what!? Put on your big girl panties (literally), and deal with it. Stay strong. Re-evaluate. Make a new goal. Take the next step. Live forward.
Growing up, my dad always used to tell me, "Do it right the first time, so you won't have to do it again." Those words have always haunted me whenever I was faced with a difficult task or project. Looking back, I realize how wrong he was in his thinking. I think his intention was to teach us to work smarter not harder, but I always took as practicing perfect, rather than practice makes perfect. Sometimes when we run from imperfections and short-comings we miss the vital point. It's not always about the finished product, the finish line, or even the reward. It's about the process it takes to get there. To learn. To achieve. To strive. And yes, even to fail. Those are the small gifts along the way that make the journey worth the steps forward.
This week, I grieved over my little birthday goal. I had to admit that I really screwed up, and yeah, I wasn't brave enough or strong enough to fight for myself in the past, but that doesn't dictate what I can and should do now. So, here's to small failures that make us a better version of who we know ourselves to be!
Nevertheless, my chiropractor limited my exercise regimen to just yoga for now, to strengthen my core as I continue to drop the pounds. I had just seen him the week prior and he said I was a good inch and a half off. Sad news. For me, it was really discouraging in this process to lose weight, mostly because of my 30 by 30 goal. I got really depressed that I couldn't just do whatever I wanted to get where I want to go. I had to face the sad reality that I still need to reap the consequence of all my bad choices in the past, slowing my progress in the present. I let myself get here, and there's no easy out....in fact, there is no "out". Just the hard facts and a choice. A choice of where to go from here.
Part of me, the "old me," wanted to slump over and take on the big "I'm a failure" attitude and decide just to forget it all. If I can't have it my way when I want it then why bother? Thankfully, I stopped long enough to face the inevitable and be woman enough to own it. Yeah, this was my first real goal at changing my health for the better, but I'm not going to be able to reach it. So, what!? Put on your big girl panties (literally), and deal with it. Stay strong. Re-evaluate. Make a new goal. Take the next step. Live forward.
Growing up, my dad always used to tell me, "Do it right the first time, so you won't have to do it again." Those words have always haunted me whenever I was faced with a difficult task or project. Looking back, I realize how wrong he was in his thinking. I think his intention was to teach us to work smarter not harder, but I always took as practicing perfect, rather than practice makes perfect. Sometimes when we run from imperfections and short-comings we miss the vital point. It's not always about the finished product, the finish line, or even the reward. It's about the process it takes to get there. To learn. To achieve. To strive. And yes, even to fail. Those are the small gifts along the way that make the journey worth the steps forward.
This week, I grieved over my little birthday goal. I had to admit that I really screwed up, and yeah, I wasn't brave enough or strong enough to fight for myself in the past, but that doesn't dictate what I can and should do now. So, here's to small failures that make us a better version of who we know ourselves to be!
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