Can You Hair Me Now?

Now that I decided to go ahead with chemo, I needed to figure out what to do about my hair.  In my chemo class, they told me about how the meds not only kill cancer cells, but also any rapidly growing healthy cells, and one of those being hair cells.  After the first treatment, the hair would start to slowly start coming out two to three weeks after, and would likely to be completely gone by week four or five.  Depending on how fast the hair grows naturally will determine how fast it will come out.  So they advise that at some point it would be best to just cut your hair short, or some people even prefer to be the one to shave it off completely.  They said when it comes back it will never quite be the same in texture, it may even be curly!  If you have any gray before chemo, you'll likely get more brighter, super charged after chemo gray!  I have a lot of gray!  Thank God for dye!

Now, if you've known me long enough, you'll know that it's not completely out of character for me to randomly chop off my hair!  I've been known to grab a pair of scissors and go happy on my hair before, and have it turn out pretty interesting...

October 2009: This time, I actually let Preston trim my hair, and didn't intend to go quite that short!



October 2010: This was the after picture from my stylist's awesome job fixing my "dutch boy" haircut!  It was pretty bad!

So as you can see, I've never really been too timid about cutting my hair.  My hair grows fast and I always knew however which way I butchered it off, it was always going to be really nice to me and grow back long and pretty again.  For some reason, when it came to cutting it because of chemo, I wasn't so eager to do it.  Afterall, the hair I get back may not even be my same hair that's been so dedicated to my crazy antics!  I know what the Word says I can have, and I can dig dip and believe that I will be among the few that don't lose their hair during chemo.  Yet, for some reason, this has proven especially difficult for me.

It's pretty ironic how we think sometimes!  When you know there's little risk in taking impulsive action, it's fun and carefree and you look forward to the memory you're making.  Yet, when you're faced with having to do the same action because you know you have to or it will happen eventually, you resist it.  I didn't want to lose my hair.  It's not like I'm some hot chick, like Cameron Diaz, Natalie Portman, or Demi Moore, who all shaved their heads to be badass chicks in a movie.  I'm just a chubby Mexi from Cali who oversees children for a living.  Can you imagine?  "Hey, look at me!  I'm a badass baldy!  Want me to hold your baby for you!?"

And yet...there's a choice.  I could either play the victim or take charge of my life and have a good attitude about it.  If I am going to endure chemo, the hairy situation can potentially come with it, and I needed to embrace the change, because like it or not, it was going to change me...at least for a season.  So, I thought about Locks of Love and decided I wanted to donate all my healthy hair before I took the risk of losing any of it to cancer.  After all the times I cut my hair by choice, I never considered giving my wasted hair to benefit someone else.

I let my cousin Garrett work his magic and give me the best possible pixie cut he could imagine for my round face.  Here's my before and after...

 

It's still taking me time to get used to my short hair.  I've never ever had my hair this short! When we moved I couldn't find my flat iron, so I would wear my hair up in a big bun for about a month.  It just kinda feels like my hair is up in that bun!  When I pass a mirror, I do a double-take trying to figure out who that stranger is looking back at me.  I think it will help me get used to the idea that I may pass a mirror sometime in the next couple of weeks and not have much hair to look at!  I personally think it will be good for that whole mental process, and I'm comforted knowing my hair went to someone else who is having a tough time without hair.  So, for now, this is me...