When in the Thick of It All

 



I know I've been oftly quiet lately, and for those who have been waiting for updates via blogs or Facebook, my apologies!  I've been in the thick of it all, and to be honest, it has been hard to find my words...at least in a coherent way that can communicate all that we've learned and overcome in the past couple of months.  Sometimes it really is best to tell a story as you look back to understand it rather than explain it as it unfolds before you.  Over the past couple of months, I've been asked more questions than I knew how to answer, needed to make decisions I wasn't necessarily prepared to make, and felt a wide range of emotions that I had trouble processing. 

So, what do you do when you're in the thick of it all?  I have learned to live out this season bit by bit.  I'd say "day by day," but at times more is asked of me.  Sometimes a "bit" is knowing what a week looks like, and sometimes a "bit" is getting through the hour.  Life doesn't really look a certain way when you're in the thick of it all, and you find yourself doing whatever it takes to persevere, to endure whatever comes in the "bit" you're in, and to focus on the good and the joy in that one bit of time.  (And yes, there is joy and goodness in every single bit, no matter how hard or uncertain it may be!)

When in the thick of it all, I have also learned that it really is best to be quiet when you really don't know what to say.  Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words."  The words that come out of our mouths can have such an impact on our lives and half the time we don't even realize it.  In fact, I think we're encouraged more often than not to talk about everything that happens to us before we really have a clear understanding of what it is we're talking about with the hopes that talking about it will get us to a place of clarity.  And, don't get me wrong...sometimes that is important and even necessary, with the right people at the right time.  But when we base what we talk about on the immediate--how we feel about it, what we see in the here and now, what other people think or say about it, or even what we think other people are thinking or saying about it--we end up with a more confused situation than we started with.  Sometimes we end up defining our situations before we even have time to live them.

Over the past few weeks I've been doing exactly that, and every time I end up drained and facing the same unanswered questions that I started with!  Had I chosen to just be quiet, I'd probably have a lot more clarity (and energy) than I do.  But, it is really hard to be quiet when various people are asking: What are you going to do!?  In fact, less than an hour from being diagnosed and calling people, I was asked that very question!  I hadn't even talked to a doctor yet to even know my options, and people haven't stopped asking that question since.  And there's nothing wrong with people asking a question like that when you're faced with tough circumstances, but seriously consider:  If a person knew what to do with the decision, it's more likely you would just hear about it without you needing to ask.  For a couple of weeks, it was almost easier to wear a shirt that read "IDK" for "I don't know" than needing to say it!

At times, I felt God telling me to be quiet.  Be still.  There are two main verses that come to mind with that phrase.  One being a song of David in Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"  A quick search of the phrase "be still" in the Hebrew is raphah, and it means: to sink, to let go, to let drop, to relax, to refrain, to be quiet, to show oneself slack.  The other being right before God parted the Red Sea in Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."  In that instance, the Hebrew word charash is being used: to be silent, be dumb, be speechless, be deaf.  Now, if you look for that same phrase in the New Testament, you'll find it in Mark 4 when Jesus calmed the storm in verse 39, "Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm."  A quick search for the same phrase in the Greek is the word phimoo, and it means: to close the mouth with a muzzle, to muzzle, to stop the mouth, make speechless, reduce to silence, to become speechless, to be kept in check.  I don't know about you, but that is pretty fascinating!

In the OT, the "be still" was knowing that He is God and He will fight on your behalf, you need only to shut up and let go; in the NT, the "be still" has been pivotally changed because of Christ!  Now, the "be still" has come to mean you can know God, and because the war is won and we walk in the victory, YOU can tell the storms in your life to be reduced to silence...to basically shut up!  And if you're saying, "Well, Liz, that was Jesus calming the storm.  We can't do that!"  Well, then I'll say to you John 14:12, "I can guarantee this truth: Those who believe in me will do the things that I am doing. They will do even greater things because I am going to the Father."  Do we all just wake up each morning having the confidence to do that?  Not so much.  Can we?  Absolutely!  But it doesn't come from us.  Boldness comes from a continued intimacy with God and His Word.  It's like eating protein...you're only going to be fueled as you continue to take it in. 

It's taken me some hard lessons and weeks of living the up's and down's of my situation to understand what God has been saying to me the whole time.  I'm no expert; I'm just learning as I go.  But until I have practiced it enough to make it a daily reality in my life, I know now that the best thing to do in the thick of it all is to take each bit and either speak directly to the storm, or simply be quiet until I know that I can.