BD: How Do You Know?
After the biopsy, we didn't really have the calm of waiting patiently for the results to come in. We still had to figure out what we were going to do about our living situation: were we going to stay, or go? We were living out of boxes, and every day we spent there, new obstacles and mini-disasters would pop up. In fact, the day after my biopsy, we were checking every apartment complex in the 5 mile radius for a place to move to! We couldn't go back to our old apartment, because they already rented it out. Life was in limbo!
As you can imagine, it was hard to really focus and target our faith and energy into any one given situation. The world was still moving forward around us, we still had to work, and manage all of our responsibilites. Among all that, the biopsy report was hanging over our heads. When life seems to come at you at all sides like that, I think it's easy to go into a Christian auto-pilot: you know what you should say, what you should confess, what you should believe for. You "should" yourself through each day. I honestly believe, looking back, if I had obeyed and seasoned my faith for what was coming, then the "should's" would've been "am's," and more questions would've been answered than were asked during that time. Like the big question: How do you know?
To be completely honest, physical healing has never been a huge strong point in my faith. I knew I had a strong faith to believe for God's provision and direction, because I had walked a lot of that out when I moved to the Northwest. I knew I had a strong faith to believe God had great plans for me. I definitely knew I was saved. But healing? That has been a little more foreign in my faith process. Sure, I had faith to believe for healing in others, and believe what the Words says about healing! I've even prayed for a handful of people and seen their healing manifested. But, I never really had to believe for my own healing....and yes, there is a difference.
When you have to believe in the midst of symptoms, in the midst of what is seen, in the midst of what you're told, and in the midst of what science and natural law says is true, your faith becomes a fight. During those days of waiting for the report, I didn't really know that healing was mine for the receiving. I knew that's what the Word says. I believed it when I told other people. I believed it when we were standing in the gap for Preston. I just didn't really know it for myself up to that point.
Unfortunately, during these times, we're not only faced to battle our flesh, but also to battle an enemy, whose purpose is to cloud and confuse the perfect will of God. The enemy LOVES to ask daunting questions that he knows you don't really know how to answer, especially in the thick of your circumstances. If he can pave a way for fear to be present, even if just a little bit, even if its somewhere in the back of your mind, then he's setup a stronghold to build on.
Thankfully, we had picked up a copy of an amazing book that really brought a lot of clairty to the haze of everything going on.
"Spirit Wars: Winning the Invisible Battle Against Sin and the Enemy" by Kris Vallotton
We were able to grasp hold of some amazing truths from the Word that kept us from being consummed by fear and doubt of the unknown. Each night we read a chapter together before bed, and would feed our spirits as we took one day at a time waiting to know what was going to happen next.
**This blog was written in October 2012, but chronologically happened in September 2012**
As you can imagine, it was hard to really focus and target our faith and energy into any one given situation. The world was still moving forward around us, we still had to work, and manage all of our responsibilites. Among all that, the biopsy report was hanging over our heads. When life seems to come at you at all sides like that, I think it's easy to go into a Christian auto-pilot: you know what you should say, what you should confess, what you should believe for. You "should" yourself through each day. I honestly believe, looking back, if I had obeyed and seasoned my faith for what was coming, then the "should's" would've been "am's," and more questions would've been answered than were asked during that time. Like the big question: How do you know?
To be completely honest, physical healing has never been a huge strong point in my faith. I knew I had a strong faith to believe for God's provision and direction, because I had walked a lot of that out when I moved to the Northwest. I knew I had a strong faith to believe God had great plans for me. I definitely knew I was saved. But healing? That has been a little more foreign in my faith process. Sure, I had faith to believe for healing in others, and believe what the Words says about healing! I've even prayed for a handful of people and seen their healing manifested. But, I never really had to believe for my own healing....and yes, there is a difference.
When you have to believe in the midst of symptoms, in the midst of what is seen, in the midst of what you're told, and in the midst of what science and natural law says is true, your faith becomes a fight. During those days of waiting for the report, I didn't really know that healing was mine for the receiving. I knew that's what the Word says. I believed it when I told other people. I believed it when we were standing in the gap for Preston. I just didn't really know it for myself up to that point.
Unfortunately, during these times, we're not only faced to battle our flesh, but also to battle an enemy, whose purpose is to cloud and confuse the perfect will of God. The enemy LOVES to ask daunting questions that he knows you don't really know how to answer, especially in the thick of your circumstances. If he can pave a way for fear to be present, even if just a little bit, even if its somewhere in the back of your mind, then he's setup a stronghold to build on.
Thankfully, we had picked up a copy of an amazing book that really brought a lot of clairty to the haze of everything going on.
We were able to grasp hold of some amazing truths from the Word that kept us from being consummed by fear and doubt of the unknown. Each night we read a chapter together before bed, and would feed our spirits as we took one day at a time waiting to know what was going to happen next.
**This blog was written in October 2012, but chronologically happened in September 2012**
