Preparing for My 1st Appointment
Because of our previous experience with Preston's case, we knew that the first appointment with a doctor was going to determine a lot. To remind you, when we went to our consultation appointment with Preston's urologist, they were talking surgery within 2 days and they spoke of an urgency about the lump. So, going into my initial appointment after finding out my lump was indeed cancer, we knew we needed to prepare ourselves for whatever the doctor had to say.
We prayed and fasted, continued to read the book Spirit Wars, and did what we knew to do to prepare our spirits for whatever lie ahead for us. At that time, we were still living in that awful apartment, which we had come to refer to as "the hotel." Every day there would be some new nuisance: a group of teens screaming and yelling at each other at 3 am, another leak, a neighbor cooking a very strong type of fish that seemed to permeate through the walls, the constant smell of cigarette mixed with pot. Thankfully, we had found our new place and had to be patient for the right apartment to open up, and the leasing office at "the hotel" was letting us out of our lease. Our situation was temporary, but the timing of it all was almost comical. Almost.
During the days leading up to the appointment, I received news that I was diagnosed with the same type of cancer as a friend of mine. A reality hit me. This whole process wasn't just going to be about getting a lump out of my body. I guess I was just enjoying ignorance thinking that the only obstacle I was faced with was battling a single lump, and life would go back to normal and cancer would be behind me. But, knowing part of my friend's story, and knowing that the cancer came back after her lump was gone, I realized that this was going to be an enduring fight of faith over my body.
When you're faced with the unknown, it becomes really hard to not compare yourself with other people's experiences, and even harder to not assume their experience will be yours. When life doesn't seem to make much sense, you want so desperately to know what's coming, what to expect, and how to survive it...and you really want all those answers in the now. That is why it is so important to find a way to be still. To know that God is with you. To know that each person goes through their own journey, their own process, and their own fight of faith.
On the morning of my appointment, God spoke to me and told me that He was going to take me from being a wishful thinker to a confident confessor. I was at peace that morning knowing that whatever the doctor had to say, that I could have victory in my situation. During our consultation with the surgeon, we actually were very calm, taking the information in with a guarded mind. She explained in detail what the cancer looked like, how it was behaving, how to understand the pathology report, and that I had options with which type of surgeries were available to me. Most importantly, there wasn't this huge rush to get it done...not like in Preston's case. According to her, the cancer wasn't overly aggressive, and it wouldn't be a huge deal if we wanted to wait to make a decision. She even recommended we have all of our consultations with the oncologist, radiologist, and primary care before we would even book a surgery date. We felt like we had time to process how we were going to go about everything, and even having time to wait on God longer. We left feeling pretty confident!
**This blog was written in October 2012, but chronologically happened in September 2012**
We prayed and fasted, continued to read the book Spirit Wars, and did what we knew to do to prepare our spirits for whatever lie ahead for us. At that time, we were still living in that awful apartment, which we had come to refer to as "the hotel." Every day there would be some new nuisance: a group of teens screaming and yelling at each other at 3 am, another leak, a neighbor cooking a very strong type of fish that seemed to permeate through the walls, the constant smell of cigarette mixed with pot. Thankfully, we had found our new place and had to be patient for the right apartment to open up, and the leasing office at "the hotel" was letting us out of our lease. Our situation was temporary, but the timing of it all was almost comical. Almost.
During the days leading up to the appointment, I received news that I was diagnosed with the same type of cancer as a friend of mine. A reality hit me. This whole process wasn't just going to be about getting a lump out of my body. I guess I was just enjoying ignorance thinking that the only obstacle I was faced with was battling a single lump, and life would go back to normal and cancer would be behind me. But, knowing part of my friend's story, and knowing that the cancer came back after her lump was gone, I realized that this was going to be an enduring fight of faith over my body.
When you're faced with the unknown, it becomes really hard to not compare yourself with other people's experiences, and even harder to not assume their experience will be yours. When life doesn't seem to make much sense, you want so desperately to know what's coming, what to expect, and how to survive it...and you really want all those answers in the now. That is why it is so important to find a way to be still. To know that God is with you. To know that each person goes through their own journey, their own process, and their own fight of faith.
On the morning of my appointment, God spoke to me and told me that He was going to take me from being a wishful thinker to a confident confessor. I was at peace that morning knowing that whatever the doctor had to say, that I could have victory in my situation. During our consultation with the surgeon, we actually were very calm, taking the information in with a guarded mind. She explained in detail what the cancer looked like, how it was behaving, how to understand the pathology report, and that I had options with which type of surgeries were available to me. Most importantly, there wasn't this huge rush to get it done...not like in Preston's case. According to her, the cancer wasn't overly aggressive, and it wouldn't be a huge deal if we wanted to wait to make a decision. She even recommended we have all of our consultations with the oncologist, radiologist, and primary care before we would even book a surgery date. We felt like we had time to process how we were going to go about everything, and even having time to wait on God longer. We left feeling pretty confident!
**This blog was written in October 2012, but chronologically happened in September 2012**
