"Hello, Elizabeth? Yeah, hi, um, you have cancer."
Ok, so, it wasn't quite as dramatic as that ;) It kind of felt that way, though. After four days of waiting, and in that dump of an apartment, no less, I was pretty sure if I had cancer, they wouldn't tell me over the phone...right?
After the biopsy, they told me that if I didn't hear any news by Friday morning to go ahead and call in. I figured no news was good news, but I still needed to know. I still needed to know how the next chapter in my story was going to play out. Even if it came down to the supposed breast duct papilloma, and facing a decision over surgery, I needed to know. When the nurse called me back, I had a pen and my little calendar ready for whatever was going to be said over the phone...
Nurse: "Ok, so, who have you talked to so far since your biopsy?"
Me: "No one. You're the first to call, so we've been wondering if the results have come in."
Nurse: *Pause* (In a more cautious tone) Ok, yes, we have received the results. The pathology report shows that you tested positive for cancer.
Me: *Pause*
You would be surprised how much can run through your mind in a little pause like that. My heart felt like it stopped in that little pause, and then started up again real fast! I remember Preston waiting to hear what was being said over the phone, and I avoided looking over at him. Instead, I wrote what she said in my little calendar: "breast cancer," "invasive ductal carcinoma," "2.7cm x 1.5 cm x 1.4cm," "more tests," "estrogen receptor positive," "consultation with surgeon in week or so," "support group once a month." I remember looking up at Preston while she was apologizing for my having to hear about it over the phone. He had the look. The tired look that said, "Again? We're going through this again?" When I got off the phone, we were pretty quiet and very calm.
We finally knew what were up against. The waiting was over. We were in the game, and the win was based on what we were going to choose to do about it. In that moment, we were going to live in that pause, take the next step and begin calling the people who needed to know right away. I was about to do to my precious loved ones what was just done to me....give the bad news over the phone. I knew I had to prepare myself for their reactions, because everyone processes information in their own way. Everyone in our inner circle was eagerly waiting with us, and believing with us for a good report, and it was pretty heavy knowing I wasn't going to be calling with one. I knew that what was happening wasn't just happening to us. I knew that our loved ones, being the amazing people that they are, were going to share our burden. However, I also knew that our story was just beginning; we weren't defeated in this, but we finally knew what we were up against.
We are so blessed with amazing parents, and people of great faith that have been a tremendous influence on our lives and our faith process. I know that because of our testimony with Preston's fight against cancer, we all knew what faith can do in times like these, and it was a blessing to walk out the next chapter together.
**This blog was written in October 2012, but chronologically happened in September 2012**
After the biopsy, they told me that if I didn't hear any news by Friday morning to go ahead and call in. I figured no news was good news, but I still needed to know. I still needed to know how the next chapter in my story was going to play out. Even if it came down to the supposed breast duct papilloma, and facing a decision over surgery, I needed to know. When the nurse called me back, I had a pen and my little calendar ready for whatever was going to be said over the phone...
Nurse: "Ok, so, who have you talked to so far since your biopsy?"
Me: "No one. You're the first to call, so we've been wondering if the results have come in."
Nurse: *Pause* (In a more cautious tone) Ok, yes, we have received the results. The pathology report shows that you tested positive for cancer.
Me: *Pause*
You would be surprised how much can run through your mind in a little pause like that. My heart felt like it stopped in that little pause, and then started up again real fast! I remember Preston waiting to hear what was being said over the phone, and I avoided looking over at him. Instead, I wrote what she said in my little calendar: "breast cancer," "invasive ductal carcinoma," "2.7cm x 1.5 cm x 1.4cm," "more tests," "estrogen receptor positive," "consultation with surgeon in week or so," "support group once a month." I remember looking up at Preston while she was apologizing for my having to hear about it over the phone. He had the look. The tired look that said, "Again? We're going through this again?" When I got off the phone, we were pretty quiet and very calm.
We finally knew what were up against. The waiting was over. We were in the game, and the win was based on what we were going to choose to do about it. In that moment, we were going to live in that pause, take the next step and begin calling the people who needed to know right away. I was about to do to my precious loved ones what was just done to me....give the bad news over the phone. I knew I had to prepare myself for their reactions, because everyone processes information in their own way. Everyone in our inner circle was eagerly waiting with us, and believing with us for a good report, and it was pretty heavy knowing I wasn't going to be calling with one. I knew that what was happening wasn't just happening to us. I knew that our loved ones, being the amazing people that they are, were going to share our burden. However, I also knew that our story was just beginning; we weren't defeated in this, but we finally knew what we were up against.
We are so blessed with amazing parents, and people of great faith that have been a tremendous influence on our lives and our faith process. I know that because of our testimony with Preston's fight against cancer, we all knew what faith can do in times like these, and it was a blessing to walk out the next chapter together.
**This blog was written in October 2012, but chronologically happened in September 2012**
