The Forgiveness Factor
When God showed me the areas in my heart that block His power in my life, I struggled with how to get to a place where I could let go of those hinderances. Unforgiveness was on my list.
Forgiving people that have offended or hurt us, whether once or repeatedly, proves to be most difficult when we hold fast to the attitude that we're entitled to hold a grudge. And sometimes we let offenses take root in our hearts so subtly that we don't even realize that our entire perspective is being filtered through offense and unforgiveness.
The particular person I needed to forgive lived 1,000 miles away from me, so my interaction with her was limited. I very easily disregarded my offenses against her, because she was out of sight, and out of mind....at least until I heard any of the latest news and all the anger from my past offenses would flare up. Most of the offenses I had picked up weren't even directed at me, and I wasn't directly involved in the situation, but it affected people that I loved. I realized I avoided dealing with those issues that had rooted in my heart against her because I separated myself and limited my interaction with her, and I thought I was fine because I wasn't acting on any offenses or trying to retaliate. God told me otherwise. My heart was still unclean before Him, and if I had left it that way, this whole process dealing with the cancer would be that much more complicated.
When God first showed me this area of my heart, I truly struggled with what to do. This person was hard for me to love. I didn't understand her reasonings for doing things, I didn't trust her motives, and I had a hard time believing what she said was true. I even told God that I didn't know how to forgive this person, or even how to love her because I couldn't trust her. I had encountered other people in my life that were difficult for me, and God had told me back then, "I'm not asking you to trust them, just to love them as I have loved you." And you know, when you walk out the love of God in your life, it truly does transcend your own understanding of things. God's love brings freedom, it gives life, and it covers a multitude of sins, mistakes and hurts. Forgiveness is possible when you simply make the decision to love.
I think of Jesus dying on the cross. Even after he had been falsely accused, mocked, beaten, and nailed to a cross, the world was still demanding that he prove himself to be true. The two thieves seemed to represent the world's 50/50 take on Jesus: half the people demanded God save them in how they saw fit to be saved and to prove himself to just and true, and the other half will humble themselves and believe the message and power of the gospel. Even after three years of ministry, Jesus had shown sign after sign that he was the Son of God, and still the world rejected him with unbelief. And yet, as he hung there dying as an innocent man, he asked God to forgive them because they did not understand what they were doing. He showed mercy when he had every right to take offense. He showed compassion when he had every right to curse. He was and is love in its purest form.
I love how the NLT translates Colossians 3:13, "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." We are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world with other imperfect people. When imperfect people start judging other imperfect people, the circumstances can get a little muddy. Often times being human, we will do things that offend other people for a whole mess of reasons: perhaps we base our decisions out of a past hurt that wasn't dealt with; perhaps we were just raised to do things a certain way that other people wouldn't; perhaps our personalities just clash with another person's personality; perhaps we just choose to make a bad decision.
The point is that we're not always going to understand why people do what they do. If we wait to understand that before we make a decision to forgive, then we're going to remain bound to our offenses, inhibit God, and skew our own perception in the process.
Forgiving people that have offended or hurt us, whether once or repeatedly, proves to be most difficult when we hold fast to the attitude that we're entitled to hold a grudge. And sometimes we let offenses take root in our hearts so subtly that we don't even realize that our entire perspective is being filtered through offense and unforgiveness.
The particular person I needed to forgive lived 1,000 miles away from me, so my interaction with her was limited. I very easily disregarded my offenses against her, because she was out of sight, and out of mind....at least until I heard any of the latest news and all the anger from my past offenses would flare up. Most of the offenses I had picked up weren't even directed at me, and I wasn't directly involved in the situation, but it affected people that I loved. I realized I avoided dealing with those issues that had rooted in my heart against her because I separated myself and limited my interaction with her, and I thought I was fine because I wasn't acting on any offenses or trying to retaliate. God told me otherwise. My heart was still unclean before Him, and if I had left it that way, this whole process dealing with the cancer would be that much more complicated.
When God first showed me this area of my heart, I truly struggled with what to do. This person was hard for me to love. I didn't understand her reasonings for doing things, I didn't trust her motives, and I had a hard time believing what she said was true. I even told God that I didn't know how to forgive this person, or even how to love her because I couldn't trust her. I had encountered other people in my life that were difficult for me, and God had told me back then, "I'm not asking you to trust them, just to love them as I have loved you." And you know, when you walk out the love of God in your life, it truly does transcend your own understanding of things. God's love brings freedom, it gives life, and it covers a multitude of sins, mistakes and hurts. Forgiveness is possible when you simply make the decision to love.
I think of Jesus dying on the cross. Even after he had been falsely accused, mocked, beaten, and nailed to a cross, the world was still demanding that he prove himself to be true. The two thieves seemed to represent the world's 50/50 take on Jesus: half the people demanded God save them in how they saw fit to be saved and to prove himself to just and true, and the other half will humble themselves and believe the message and power of the gospel. Even after three years of ministry, Jesus had shown sign after sign that he was the Son of God, and still the world rejected him with unbelief. And yet, as he hung there dying as an innocent man, he asked God to forgive them because they did not understand what they were doing. He showed mercy when he had every right to take offense. He showed compassion when he had every right to curse. He was and is love in its purest form.
I love how the NLT translates Colossians 3:13, "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." We are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world with other imperfect people. When imperfect people start judging other imperfect people, the circumstances can get a little muddy. Often times being human, we will do things that offend other people for a whole mess of reasons: perhaps we base our decisions out of a past hurt that wasn't dealt with; perhaps we were just raised to do things a certain way that other people wouldn't; perhaps our personalities just clash with another person's personality; perhaps we just choose to make a bad decision.
The point is that we're not always going to understand why people do what they do. If we wait to understand that before we make a decision to forgive, then we're going to remain bound to our offenses, inhibit God, and skew our own perception in the process.
Liz, words seem to fail me right now.... Thanks so much for sharing this...
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